donnerpartyrockers:
“fried chicken and mashed potatoes
”

donnerpartyrockers:

fried chicken and mashed potatoes

acatpiestuff:

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subway masters at the subway

autisticnari:

ellielol:

ellielol:

wow = watch our woofs (it means dog videos)

you can say this when you watch a video with a dog in it or another animal to

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women can watch dogs too it’s okay

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neproxrezi:

every piglin in a fifty mile radius turning aggro when my dogshit thirty durability golden boots shatter because i jumped off a one block incline

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milkchuggs:

acidgirl:

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Thanks daikon-boy for the tags

tearlessrain:

leporellian:

radwolf76:

scarletswalking:

leporellian:

would you guys like to see the greatest beanie baby poem ever written

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For the record, this is runner:

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Not at all what I thought it would be.

Exactly what I thought it would be.

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Do Not call me a liar on my own post again!

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It is a real poem! And it is magnificent.

Ah, my mistake. the shadows on the tag made it look like something underneath had been whited out and I’ve seen so many photoshopped TIL style posts I just assumed lol

angry-comics:

angry-comics:

story about a lake i did recently. text formatting is based on the CBC’s closed captioning style guide.

whoa this got reblogged a bit while i was gone

pretentioussongtitle:

nitewrighter:

I was about to make a post about like… how my family has this lemon tree out front, and one of the funniest things about having a lemon tree is occasionally I’ll be out in front doing whatever and I’ll see someone walking past and quickly grab a lemon off the tree and stuff it in their pockets as quick as they can like they’re shoplifting. 

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of… them…

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I’ll admit it, OP. As soon as you mentioned your family had a lemon tree in their yard I wanted to ask you how they were dealing with the whore infestation.

cupcakepirate123:

boyboobs:

Rating: NOT CUTE


The amount of Walter Whites in this close proximity to each other without any nearby Jesses is detrimental to the health of the animal. The urgent call of “Jesse” is a clear sign of stress from a Walter White, and the frequency with which all of these Walter Whites are calling Jesse indicates clear trauma and stress. Additionally, Walter Whites are NOT a pack animal. Though a Jesse nearby might act as a way to ease tension, having so many Walter Whites close to each other is highly likely to cause infighting and maiming. Prolonged captivity in these conditions is likely to severely injure the health of every Walter White present.

irenigg:

onlytheilluminatisurvive:

I’m gonna say this the nicest way I can but if a girl never posts any full body pictures there is probably a reason

she doesnt have a full body

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TEEN

correctdichotomy:

(image credit to Dan Hoare on twitter)

I ONLY JUST LEARNED ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF THIS MUSHROOM????? WHICH ERUPTS FROM AN EGG BEFORE UNCURLING HELLISH ARMS, EXPOSING ITS STICKY MASS OF SPORES TO BE SPREAD BY FLIES ATTRACTED BY THE SCENT OF ROTTING FLESH???

Admittedly, I am easily won over by all organisms that attract flies with the scent of rotting flesh. But the octopus stinkhorn (Clathrus archeri) also has tentacles, a freaky egg stage, and blackish goop, so it’s my favorite now.

rattlegore:

he’s going The pisstance

he’s going For peed

doboke:

doboke:

This is your captain speaking I am currently flying this plane with my penis. Is this a problem?

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jolinarofmalkshur:

bruce-wayne-simp:

professional-chaotic-dumbass:

fetus-cakes:

alatar-and-pallando:

This post on r/AmItheAsshole (and the OP’s follow-up responses) have me cry-laughing – please enjoy

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“I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming, pounce over the counter and eat the entire five kilograms of cheese”

“we’re sending in the least threatening among us”

I just reblogged this but heres the update:

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I needed to know what happened so I tracked down the most recent update

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tagged: #pentaphobia